Well endowed baby elephants, Alien doom bugs, and an invisible Jaguar.

The order of business today was a jaunt to Chester zoo, possibly the best zoo in the zooniverse <see what I did there>, ok this  might get pic heavy, so bear with me.
It was a lovely sunny and not too freezing day, and after breezing through the gate, due to Ruths clever fast track booking, we went and found the elephants. Well, not found exactly, as they were on the map, and are big, grey, noisy, and a bit smelly, in a nice way. There were a few down the front, including two babies that were having a bit of a scrap, until they were trumpeted at and stopped, <as one would if ones parents weighed several tons, and had big pointy tusks>

Well, hello there.

We carried on round and watched from a high vantage point as the pachyderms interacted, drinking, walking round the pond in a line, etc, all very sweet, when young baby male turned his back to the crowd, and showed us all what he thought, in a torrent of pee, poop, and, erm, dangly bits. Most assuredly a boy.

Tsk, children.

Vaguely traumatized, and definitely amused, we carried on, pausing to point at some deer and say "nom" loudly.
We also saw a condor trying to make the bat sign. Impressive, but futile, as  The batman doesn't speak condor, so couldn't have helped it anyway.

dinner dinner dinner dinner

BATMAAAAAAN!

Wandering along further, we encountered those strange long necked, slender, doe eyed wonders of the savannah, the giraffes. As giant mutant mice go, they have done pretty well for themselves. After looking at them with the naked eye, and my embigulation scope, we sallied forth to the butterfly house, where strange creatures dwell, flitting about from branch to branch, but enough about the volunteers. The Butterflies were astoundingly pretty, and we got a chance to look at a jungle nymph at close quarters, which looks like a combination between a leaf, a fat stick insect, some cool spikes, and a face from H.P Lovecrafts nightmares.

I, for one, welcome our new overlords.

The jaguar enclosure was next on the tour, and we ran the gauntlet of heckling ducks on the river to get there. There was no sign of the Jaguar, except its foot prints, which lead me to believe it was either a ghost cat, or it was amongst us somewhere, just waiting..... and waiting.

Hey look at the paw prints, love!........Ruth?......Ruuuuuuuuuuuth!

We carried on to the aquarium, which had a diverse array of fishes, and we managed to see some Sea horses doing the egg transfer, which was a privilege. What wasn't a privilege was the noisy  kids going "is that Nemo?" at every fish they passed. To be fair, the fish, who had clearly heard it all before, remained stoic in their silent scorn for the air breathers. There was also a snake necked turtle who had rather peculiar aspect to him, which made me think of the elephant i saw earlier.

It can reach round corners.

Then there were penguins. I bloody love penguins,as friends of mine will know. Ruth even adopted a Magellanic penguin form the marvelous  study facility in Tiera del Fuego. He's called Ferdinand. I digress. The penguins were full of curiosity, and penguiny antics, which involve moving quickly and pecking each other in a bad tempered manner. I love you penguins, you remind me of me. Apart from the moving fast bit.

Fishy smelling win.

Lunch provided a well needed break. Recharged,  we moved along to one of our highlights, the bat cave. People are scared of bats, and I don't know why, as no self respecting bat would get caught in someones hair, even though one close flyer stuck its wing in my ear in passing. We stayed and marveled at these winged ballet dancers for ages, and as a final benediction one piddled in my open mouth as we left.

Also viewed: warty pigs <super cute>, spectacled bears <I still reckon I could beat one in a fight>, and some totally wonderful Tigers, with two cubs, one who was suckling, and the other who was sitting still, doing a fair impression of a vase. The cheetahs were also splendid, if a bit like spindly huge house cats.
Giant otters, weird birds <some of whom looked delicious>, and rhinos were also on the visual menu. The meerkats were entertaining with their tiny sharp toothed antics.

The adverts are lies you know.

A great day, and now I'm off to bed, knackered.  

[/enthusiastic waffling]