Two guinea pigs enter, one guinea pig leaves.

As a distraction, we went to our local pets at home place to look at the beasties, sort of like a really cheap day at the zoo, with the added advantage of buying stuff to make the cats look pretty <prettier>. We saw the Bearded dragons, and Pythons, all very sedate, and oo'd and aa'd at the fishes, who shoaled about like living firework displays.  then we moved on to the rats, who were all asleep, which, judging by the size of male rats testicles, is a valid reason for both genders. Rabbits were next, and they looked both cute and delicious.
Then we happened upon the guinea pigs. They were going about their business, when LO! Ruth espied one with the same markings as Mimcat!  This rodent queen of pain shot out of a tube, like a squeaky rocket, and proceeded to jump on another pig, and beat the tar out of it, all for the sake of a lettuce leaf.

I'm going to cut you now.

I played the Star Trek fight music in my head as I watched, mildly fearful as to who or what would be the next victim. Then the "guineamim" retired to its lair, victorious and garnished with lettuce.
              The similarity  in disposition between these patchwork killers cannot be a coincidence, I think that calico creatures may all be flat eyed murderfiends, if we were to look just beneath their fluffy surface.
               The cats look lovely in their new collars, and the wipes we got to de-clag Mr Pie worked quite well, meaning his ears are ear coloured, and not  dirtycold tramp coloured, and for the first time ever, he smells nice.